Jimmy Olsen’s Blues

No?

Guess that was the only word the Sphinx had left in his mouth–Big G smacked out the rest.

Galactus for Bahlactus.

^{Fantastic Four #213, by Marv Wolfman, John Byrne and Joe Sinnott (Marvel Comics 1979)}

Uh, oh… What’s this dumb-ass thinking?



The Purple Man will now discover three things:

1. Whores get paid; they do not provide a free service. He has whores confused with sluts, or tramps.

2. Right now, he’s the whore.

3. Jessica Jones only has her car keys and a large dose of PAIN in her pocket.


Captain America says “Wow.” Bahlactus says, “Keep the change.”

__________________________________________
^{Alias #28 by Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Gaydos, Marvel Comics (2003)}

Remember when Superman/Batman was fun? Remember when it was The Book To Get for Superman or Batman?

Yeah, I didn’t either until I decided to do a Random Friday Night Fight and blindly unearthed Superman/Batman #6.

Superman gives (soon to be ex-) President Luthor a quick civics lesson: that there’s a fourth branch of government. The Kryptonian Knuckle Sandwich Branch.


The Last Son of Krypton didn’t vote for you, Lexy, and he doesn’t give a damn about your hanging Chads.


Class dismissed! Don’t forget to study up on Bahlactus for Monday…

^{Superman/Batman #6 by Jeph “The Executive” Loeb, Ed “The Legislative” McGuiness, and Dexter “The Judicious One” Vines (2004).}

Before Civil War, there was Avengers (vol. 1) #168…

Listen to Iron Man, Cap! He’s all about “personal privacy” and secret identities!

And that’s just the page 7 undercard. Much like Road House, that early action is just the shrimp cocktail in a Five Course Dinner of Beatdown. I won’t bore you with the blah blah blahs leading up to Starhawk confronting Michael the Enemy at his house, except to interject that Starhawk comes dressed to rumble and Michael never gets out of his tennis instructor gear.



See? Just like Road House! Starhawk/Swayze’s going to take this fight “outside” while never leaving the den:

Unfortunately, carrying your wife around in your subconscious is just asking for a punch in the teeth, and sure enough…



Then it’s all over but the finishing move (or in this case, the obliteration/conversion/shredding move):



But then, with a twist Dalton couldn’t pull on Jimmy’s torn larynx, Evil Tennis Pro makes Starhawk all better.



Be nice, indeed. Next time, Starhawk, leave your missus at home. Bahlactus doesn’t dole out the do-overs.


^{Avengers #168, by Jim Shooter, George Perez and Pablo Marcos, 1977.}